At Amelia’s 20-week scan, the first-time mum was given the green light that all was well with her pregnancy.
But just two days later, on Christmas Eve last year, everything suddenly changed.
“I had severe pains in my stomach,” the Gold Coast mum tells Kidspot.
“I went to the bathroom and saw blood, and that’s when I realised something wasn’t right.”
At 20 weeks and 5 days along, Amelia was faced with her worst imaginable nightmare – giving birth to a baby that would not survive.
“They said the baby was alive but my cervix was dilated and the membrane was bulging out, and they expected me to deliver in the next 24 hours,” the 32-year-old remembers vividly of that traumatic day.
“They couldn’t do anything because the gestation was just too young.”
Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this
“Doctors offered to ‘speed along the process’ – but we said no”
Amelia was offered to “speed along the process” but she and husband, Joshua, chose to give their baby every fighting chance.
“She was very active… I could feel her move all the time,” she says about her unborn child.
Amelia remained in hospital for 10 days, giving her hope that crossing the 22-week mark would provide the miracle her baby so desperately needed to survive.
“We were transferred to a bigger hospital then, so I was mentally preparing for NICU but at the same time we knew the chances weren’t great… all we had was hope.”
On January 9, at 23 weeks, baby Isla was born naturally after Amelia suffered through hours of excruciating contractions.
“She was alive when she came out,” she says through tears.
RELATED: Mum shares moment daughter dies in her arms
“They said I should be with her while her heart was still beating”
For the first 15 minutes of Isla’s life, every attempt was made to help the premature baby to breathe.
Tragically, her underdeveloped lungs just couldn’t cope.
“They told me she wouldn’t make it and I should be with her while her heart was still beating,” the devastated mum cries.
Devastatingly, Amelia’s baby girl lived for just two more minutes in her mother’s embrace. She took her last breath after only 17 minutes after birth.
“She passed away in my arms… she was a tiny, perfect baby.”
Going home without their baby daughter is something that Amelia and Joshua still struggle to comprehend.
“The reality that she had passed, I still couldn’t believe it,” she says.
“We went back home and there was the pram we had bought and the doppler that I used to listen to her heart was still on my bedside table. Still to this day, we ask, ‘Why us?’ Every day I speak about her or to her out loud as it helps with my grief. I want people to know of her, and know that she existed.”
RELATED: Final moments of baby who died on flight to Perth
“I should have a big baby belly right now”
With no explanation for Isla’s premature birth, Amelia is left with the fear and uncertainty of future pregnancies while she and Joshua hang on to the dream of having the family they’ve always wished for one day.
“I should have a big baby belly right now,” Amelia, whose due date was May 9, says.
“Longing for that loss makes me want to try again. The idea of it all is terrifying because we don’t have any type of closure of why this has happened to us, but it’s something we both want and we are waiting for the right time to try.”
Saturday, March 25, is Say Their Name Day, an annual Red Nose campaign where parents can publicly share the names of their much loved and missed babies to encourage open conversations about child loss.
Participation can be made by adding a child’s name to the online memory wall, creating an online tribute fundraiser, donating to Red Nose or sharing your story on Say Their Name.
If you or someone you love needs support after losing a child, contact the Red Nose Miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death support 24/7 National Support Line on 1300072 637.
Originally published as ‘I only got to hold my baby girl for two minutes before her heart stopped’