England can’t seem to get anything right in the second Ashes Test.
As Australia pressed their advantage on the third day, the cracks in the Poms’ armour began to widen.
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The wheels completely fell off in the opening session as the Aussie bowling attack ran through the tail.
England started the day at 6/278 but were all out for 325, losing their final six wickets for a paltry 47 runs.
Australia then took the Test by the scruff of the neck as they made their way to 2/130 before play was called off on day three due to rain.
But before the umpires waved for the covers, English keeper Jonny Bairstow tried and failed to get under the skin of Steve Smith.
England failed miserably in their attempts to dismiss Smith in the first innings, with the Aussie star plundering a masterful knock of 110 runs.
Shortly after he wandered to the crease Bairstow got the lip service started in an exchange that was picked up by the stump mic.
After letting a wide delivery from James Anderson go through into Bairstow’s gloves, Smith did a little shuffle back into his crease.
Smith has become known for his bizarre feet shuffles and bat flailing techniques which is where Bairstow pounced.
After a brief side-eye to the Aussie star, Bairstow bluntly said: “I reckon you’re the next on Strictly Australia”.
The reference sadly, like the rest of the English attempts this Test, missed the mark with the shown known Down Under as Dancing With the Stars.
Smith had no idea what the Englishman was trying to say and wasn’t up for any conversation with his counterpart.
Smith: “What’s that”.
Bairstow: “Bit of dancing for you”.
Smith: “Wouldn’t have thought so”.
The bizarre attempt at a sledge from Bairstow comes in the wake of Kevin Pietersen lashing out over their friendly approach to the series.
“Now it’s one thing walking in, swanning around saying ‘this is a wonderful team to play in, we’re creating the best environment’,” he said.
“But this is not Ashes cricket. I’ve played Ashes cricket. I’ve played 30 matches against Australia.
“The Australians here were outside to bat before the English bowlers. The English bowlers this morning should have been on those stairs saying ‘we want to bowl at Australia, we’re desperate to bowl at Australia’. These two Australian batters are out there waiting for England.”
The former Test batsmen’s intensity only increased when images of the opposing teams chatting on the boundary were shown.
“It’s all too easy and it’s all too nice. Are you telling me Ricky Ponting in 2005 is going to be talking to Geraint Jones? You think Michael Vaughan is going to be standing next to Justin Langer and saying ‘awesome mate, what a cool day …’?
“Are you joking? Are you absolutely joking? I just hope they’re in that dressing room now and the England coach is giving them the biggest hammering and saying ‘it’s not good enough, it’s absolutely not good enough!’.”