Two pieces of toilet paper, canned cheese and a packet of M&M’S are just some of the items the Australian Army are provided in their ration packs, according to a former soldier.
Jarryd Goundrey, a stand up comedian who served in the army for seven years, has shared a series of TikTok videos documenting exactly what soldiers in the infantry are given to live off for 24 hours at a time.
In one video, which has amassed over 35,000 likes, the 36-year-old said each 1kg ration pack comes with two pieces of toilet paper, which soldiers would place in a designated pocket in their uniform after receiving their supplies.
“Every soldier has their first aid equipment on one side [of their uniform] and on the other side, they put their toilet paper in so they know where it is at all times,” Mr Goundrey told news.com.au.
While the thought of only having two pieces of toilet paper may raise concern for many, Mr Goundrey said soldiers don’t often find themselves needing to relieve themselves when out in the field.
“Don’t worry, you won’t need to go to the toilet, the preservatives in the food block you up,” he shared.
That said, there have “absolutely” been times where he has run out of toilet paper when nature has called.
“There’s nothing funny about not having toilet paper when you need it. So if you hear a soldier saying, ‘I need some toilet paper’. It’s serious. You drop everything … and go ‘don’t worry mate, I’ve got you.’”
Soldiers, who carry up to five days worth of ration packs with them at a time, are also provided with basic supplies such as matches, a spoon and elastic bands.
Ration packs also include non-perishable food items such as muesli bars, cans of tuna, steak bars, a tube of Vegemite and plum jam, and a packet of mashed potato – a hot ticket item among soldiers.
One of the arguably more surprising inclusions is a packet of M&M’s, which are often expired.
“There’s nothing better than sitting in a puddle at two in the morning, you’ve been out in the field or overseas for a long time, you’re miserable, you’re wet, and you open up a pack of M&M’s,” said Mr Goundrey.
He said soldiers often hold competitions to see whose packet of M&M’s had the oldest use-by date, to determine who would get first pick of sentry duty, also known as night shifts.
“Someone would say, ‘I’ve got one from five years ago’ and he’d get the best shift. It’s the prize for having the worst thing.”
Other treats include Life Savers lollies and shortbread biscuits filled with raspberry jam, which soldiers refer to as “f**k of biscuits” – “because if anyone asks you for them, you say ‘f**k off’.”
Mr Goundrey said some soldiers pair the biscuits with canned cheese – another favourite despite its “rubbery” texture.
“You get yourself one of the biscuits, put a bit of cheese on it and a bit of plum jam. And if you close your eyes, it’s almost like you’re having quince paste and cheese, it’s great.”
At times, soldiers opt to trade ration packs with other militaries, including the French and the US, whose ration packs include a range of confectionery, sloppy joes and pizza.
“The US packs are great. Just imagine what America is like and put that into one kilogram ration pack,” he shared.
“When you’ve eaten the same thing for so long [and] you find another [country’s pack] you want to take it.”
Mr Goundrey said soldiers sometimes play pranks on their mates by fashioning “tabasco tear bombs”, using a packet of tabasco sauce and a meal heating bag from the US army’s rations.
“The American ration pack has a heating system where essentially you just add water and it makes steam. So some genius figured out if you just don’t put the water in and you put the tabasco sauce in instead, you’ve got yourself a chemical weapon.
“And you can then throw that into your mates at night time and it’s hilarious for all involved expect for [the person you’re aiming at].”
Soldiers also get creative with their rations, with Mr Goundrey, who left the army to work as a chef for 10 years, saying he witnessed some “ingenious cooking outfield”.
“Some people make flavoured rice pudding using some freeze dried rice, boiled down with some condensed milk and fruit powder.”
He said soldiers also bake cakes in the sun using crunched up biscuits, milk power and water, and make mochas using their coffee rations, chocolate powder and a melted down chocolate bar.
But while Mr Goundrey enjoyed many of the rations, he doesn’t miss some of the meals including a beef and tortellini dish.
“The meals in the ration packs have lovely names so it will say beef and tortellini but you’ll open it up and you can’t even tell what it is.”
“The marketing department was great there.”
Now a full-time comedian, Mr Goundrey has become well-known among the veteran community and is currently touring the country performing comedy shows.