Expend4bles (MA15+)
Director: Scott Waugh (Need for Speed)
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Megan Fox, Dolph Lundgren, 50 Cent, Tony Jaa
Rating:hhk
No new tricks needed for these old dogs
Here we have one of the great movie mysteries of 2023. A conundrum so confounding that even the likes of Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot and Benoit Blanc would struggle to find a clue.
Remarkably, you don’t even have to watch the movie to immerse yourself in the mystery. All you have to do is answer one single question: how the flaming hell do you pronounce its title?
Expend4bles? Go on. Just try and say that out loud. Congratulations. You have now moved past the point where all known language ends.
And you have just arrived at a fourth movie for The Expendables, a franchise set up long, long ago by Sylvester Stallone as an employment centre for decommissioned he-man heavies of yesteryear.
With the likes of Chuck Norris, Wesley Snipes, Mickey Rourke, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger picking up pay cheques, the first three Expendables movies plugged into a pining nostalgia for the gory glory days of action cinema.
You know, when men were men, dialogue was optional, and body counts had to hit triple figures by the end of the opening act.
Needless to say, Expend4bles ain’t about to go messing with that winning, wincing formula.
The gang of hacky-go-lucky, good-guy mercenaries is still led in principle by its mumbly patriarch, Barney Ross (Stallone). However, when it comes to the day-to-day dangerous stuff, the lunatic leading the way now is Barney’s great mate Lee Christmas (Jason Statham).
The group’s latest assignment is to stop a bunch of nuclear detonators from falling into the grubby hands of an enigmatic supervillain known as The Ocelot.
This fella wants to make like Oppenheimer and manufacture the kind of mushroom cloud that should start World War 3. You know, because it will be great for business. Or something like that.
Of course, the Expendables are the only ones that can stop the boom-boom from entering the room.
You’ll recognise most of them when you see ’em, whether it be from prior instalments (rusted-on regular Dolph Lundgren is still a standout), or from achievements in other arenas (hello Megan Fox, 50 Cent and Thai martial arts legend Tony Jaa).
For the most part, Expend4bles maintains a middling standard that leaves it looking no better or worse than a majority of action flicks made these days.
While there is arguably only one extended sequence that truly pays its way (a Die Hard-ish rescue scenario aboard a ship), there is consistent value to be drawn from Statham’s work here. Not only as a leading man, but also a lightning rod to spark his co-stars into action when needed.
Expend4bles is now showing in general release
FAIR PLAY (MA15+)
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Now streaming on Netflix
A compelling, astute and brilliantly acted tale of how modern relationships can still be warped and wiped away by traditions in the workplace. The core premise is a ripper: Luke (Alden Ehrenreich) and Emily (Bridgerton star Phoebe Dynevor) are so happily and passionately in love, they decide to get engaged. However, they can’t tell anyone at work, as it would kill their respective careers in an instant. This is because Luke and Emily work side-by-side on the trading floor of Wall Street’s most successful and ruthlessly-run hedge fund. Just to up the stakes, Luke is supposedly first in line to be promoted to a chief analyst position. Which means he will soon be his wife-to-be’s boss. But Emily lands the post instead. Now she calls the shots. Luke makes the right supportive noises, but makes a few sulky mistakes. Possibly intentionally, as if to undermine Emily’s standing with her new finance-bro peers. Scene by scene, this cleverly constructed movie builds an elaborate house of cards from matters sexual, financial and personal. When it inevitably all comes crashing down, the extent of the collateral damage is provocatively true-to-life. Good stuff this. Co-stars Eddie Marsan.
AUSTRALIA’S OPEN (PG)
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Selected cinemas
This impeccably researched documentary about the colourful and complicated history of the Australian Open tennis tournament is well worth the track-down. Particularly if you are the kinds of sports fan who seeks more than just recaps of results and rankings (as can often be the case with tennis docos in particular). What the production truly gets right is not only nailing the AusOpen’s unique stature and placement on the Grand Slam circuit, but also how it has continued to change and evolve throughout its ‘hardcourt’ era. Better still, it is not just a fawning look back in time. Quite rightly, the filmmakers shine a welcome light on the questionable crowd behaviour which has surfaced in recent years, and also address recent controversies involving the likes of Novak Djokovic and Margaret Court in a clear and balanced manner. If one were to make the case that the AusOpen is the best-run sports event in the country, this doco would hold all the evidence needed.
Originally published as Statham adds value as Expend4bles nails gory glory days of action cinema