Australian model Ellie Gonsalves has revealed why her extensive list of reasons not to have children “offended” so many people.
The 33-year-old shared 117 “honest” arguments against having kids with her 1.2 million followers on Sunday, which included nasty pregnancy symptoms, constant fatigue and spiralling financial costs.
Gonsalves quickly went viral with her “personal” post as her child-free choice left many divided.
While many agreed with her points, there were also lots who said they were “offended” by the decision, prompting Gonsalves to open up about why society finds child-free women “terrifying”.
“I think the backlash that comes along with someone being so honest and candid about it is terrifying to people,” she told The Project.
“I found it very strange that people don’t talk about it but you see what’s happened in the last 24 hours since I’ve shared this list and it has literally been on every major news outlet in Australia.
“So the backlash that comes along with that and the vilification and the judgement, I think is scary to a lot of people.”
Despite the avalanche of criticism, Gonsalves – who hit headlines earlier in the year for tying the knot in a “naked” wedding dress – said she has no regrets about sharing her reason for not wanting kids, and said she hopes she can help other women.
“I have been called everything under the sun over my entire career and it’s like water off a duck’s back for me. But for a lot of people it’s very scary,” she said.
“So if I’m that person that can have a voice and make people feel seen and heard who feel the way that I do then that’s amazing.”
The proportion of women not having children at all has continued to grow in Australia since the mid-1980s, despite fluctuating fertility rates, according to 2020 data from the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS).
About 1 in 4 Australian women will remain childless by the end of their reproductive lives, according to a report by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW).
Gonsalves explained her reasons for making this decision were “based on a lot of my own experiences or things very honest people have shared with me”.
“Some people are made to be parents and that is amazing (I am so happy if you are happy!!!!) but that life is just not [for] me,” she wrote on Instagram.
“My position is NOT for everyone, it’s for one person, the person I am talking on behalf of, ME.
“I have & will ALWAYS be respectful of peoples opinions & decisions that they make for themselves on something that is not hateful or hurtful.”
She also addressed backlash she received, writing: “I have also already received hundreds of dms (direct messages) criticising me telling me how much of a horrible & broken person that I am,” Gonsalves wrote.
“And while some of those things on my list are satirical, many are serious & factual. Societal pressure when it comes to this topic are (sic) truly questionable & I believe unfair towards those with differing opinions & rarely do we see a voice in support of this … because let’s face it, the public backlash can be too much.”
Gonsalves, who has been with her now-husband Ross Scutts for 15 years, also said the question of when they’d have children “is probably the most frequent one I get”.