More than half of young Australians are engaging – for pleasure – in a sex act that can lead to serious harm or death, new research has found.
A survey conducted by the University of Melbourne Law School and the University of Queensland of 4702 people aged between 18 and 35, the findings of which were released today, revealed that 57 per cent of participants had been strangled during sex at least once. More than half (51 per cent) reported having done it to a partner.
Defined as when a person’s breathing is stopped or restricted by the use of hands, other body parts or ties around the neck, the act, commonly referred to as “choking”, cannot be used safely during sex, police, doctors and the researchers, led by Professor Heather Douglas, said.
“Placing pressure on the neck is not safe. Only a small amount of pressure can cause serious harm, and potentially death,” Professor Douglas, from the University of Melbourne, told news.com.au.
“Particularly concerning is that this behaviour can lead to brain injury and the more often people engage in strangulation the more likely brain injury is. Often people will be unaware of this.”
And yet, largely due to its depiction in mainstream pornography and other contemporary media, choking or strangulation is now perceived as part and parcel of what’s “normal” during sex.
Thirty-one per cent of respondents reported being strangled by a partner for the first time between the ages of just 19 and 21, with women (61 per cent) more likely than men (43 per cent) to be on the receiving end.
The survey’s findings “surprised” even Prof Douglas, who has worked “on strangulation for about 10 years and heard about how common this behaviour was from a range of sources”.
It’s easy to see why, then, that the normalisation of sexual strangulation has become a central concern for women’s safety advocates and experts.
As Teach Us Consent founder Chanel Contos asked in her National Press Club address last November, “How can it be a significant indication a man is going to kill you has become commonplace in the bedroom?”
Contos further explores the increasing prevalence of choking during sex in her book, Consent Laid Bare, including by young men “who don’t have a violent bone in their body”.
“The fact that we just call this ‘sex’ and not ‘rough sex’ means that as a society we have now made violent sex the default,” she writes.
“To not leave with bruises, be slapped, choked, spat on, ejaculated on, f**ked so hard that it hurts to walk is an anomaly worthy of an adjective – ‘vanilla sex’.
“If these acts occurred in any other context, they would be classified as intimate partner violence, but if you slide a mattress under the altercation and add intercourse, it’s apparently good sex.”
This fear of being perceived as “vanilla” has contributed to the uptick in the act’s popularity, the survey found, as has the “common depiction” of it in pornography, film and on social media, Prof Douglas said.
“Many of the participants had seen sexual strangulation in pornography, where it’s often showed as fun and not harmful – I think that is helping to perpetuate it,” she explained.
“It’s also a vicious circle, as when it becomes more common, that places pressure on people to engage in it as they want to feel normal.”
Echoing both Ms Contos’ and Prof Douglas’ sentiment is violence-prevention educator and director of It’s Time We Talked, Maree Crabbe, who has been interviewing young people about pornography and its influence for 15 years.
Recently, she said, “I’ve noticed a huge shift in the ways (young people) spoke about sexual strangulation”.
“It is now often talked about as a ‘normal’ sexual practice, whereas we used to only hear about it very rarely,” Ms Crabbe said.
It’s Time We Talked today launched Breathless, a campaign around sexual strangulation, “to build awareness about the prevalence and risks (of it), and to promote critical thinking about the kinds of influences that contribute to its normalisation – influences like pornography”, she said.
In discussions Ms Crabbe has had with young people about their experiences of sexual strangulation, some were so distressed “they feared for their lives”.
“Many asserted that choking during sex is fine, as long as it’s consenting,” she said.
“But that’s not what medical experts tell us. They say there is no safe way to strangle.”
While many young women who participated in the survey were comfortable giving consent and participants who had choked partners more often than not reported both parties played an active role in consent, including asking and agreeing to it (79 per cent), “often the consent was for strangulation in a previous sexual encounter … so it’s not affirmative consent”, Prof Douglas said.
“We would like to see improved education and information for young people about the harms of strangulation, even when its consensual, support for navigating these conversations and also help for parents in talking to their kids about this issue.”