Intersex person reveals what dating life is like for them

An intersex person has revealed how they navigate the world of dating and sex.

Blume, who uses they/them pronouns, revealed on Andrew Bucklow’sI’ve Got News For You podcast that they are intersex, which is when someone is born without meeting the criteria of being either biologically male or female.

Typically, the intersex person will have things such as chromosomes, hormones or sex organs of both genders like Blume.

Only 1.9 per cent of the world’s population are intersex.

“I was born with something called androgen insensitivity syndrome,” Blume told the podcast. “Basically, I was an XY chromosome and I was all set on track to be a boy but because my body doesn’t respond to androgens, I had to basically stay as that little default baby that we all start off as.

“So basically, I came out looking exactly like a typical female. And then once I got to the age I should have been going through puberty, I found out that I had no female reproductive system.

“I actually had balls inside of me, believe it or not.”

Blume revealed at 16, they went to the doctor for an unrelated reason but confided in the doctor they hadn’t began to go through puberty yet.

Doctors looked into it and it was revealed they were intersex – something Blume had never heard of before.

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Blume’s parents were in the room, having received a call from the doctors beforehand about the revelation. But, the news came with a warning.

“When I was first diagnosed, the doctors told me not to tell anyone and that it’s really dangerous for me to share with people, even my friends,” they said.

“So the whole feeling of secrecy and shame made it like so much worse. But luckily, I didn’t listen to them. I felt like I wanted to share it with everyone anyway.”

Friends and family were supportive but Blume shared that some rumours were made about them in school. However, in their adult life everyone has been accepting of the information.

Blume has never had any operations to remove their testes or create a fully formed vagina, after being born without.

Instead, their doctor recommended creating one using a process called dilation, which is a process many who suffer from vaginismus use where there is insertion of sticks to stretch a vagina so things such as the use of tampons or sex aren’t incredibly painful.

This is what it did for Blume in regards to sex.

Blume said they’re often asked if their libido is impacted by being intersex, but they revealed it’s just like any other person who enjoys sex.

Blume also revealed that their dating life is largely unaffected by the fact they are intersex, as they’re a member of the Queer community so there is an open mindedness but even other friends Blume has that are intersex have no issues.

The young person revealed that when they first found out they were intersex they wished they weren’t but society has changed over the years and since receiving their diagnosis, they have learned there are just as many intersex people in the world as there are redheads.

”When you’re a teenager, you’re just trying to not be different as much as possible,” they said. “But it changed my life for the better. I’ve met so many incredible people, I learned so much about myself. And there’s all these benefits to it.

“Like, personally, I never have to have a period. I don’t grow any like body hair or anything like that. And I never have to use deodorant because I don’t have body odour.”

But there are some things that Blume wants in regards to the intersex community and that is for people to not be forced to pick a gender if they don’t want to.

They also want more representation for intersex people in programming for coming of age shows such as Heartbreak High or Sex Education.

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