A viral tweet has unearthed an awful reality that women are still facing.
Elijah Schaffer, a white male podcaster, tweeted a video of a beautiful woman walking down the street wearing a long sleeve dress and added the caption: “Modest clothing, yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?”
Firstly, of course, a white male podcaster would tweet that. Secondly, this tweet got over 150k likes; thirdly, Schaffer has over 500,000 followers.
What does this tell us?
That Schaffer’s observation isn’t unpopular, so I guess plenty of men still think women’s modesty should be tied to how desirable she is or that a woman should get praise if she chooses to dress more conservatively.
It wouldn’t matter what the woman would have worn in the video. She’s beautiful; therefore, plenty of people will stop and stare, whether she’s wearing a bikini or a skivvy.
I very much doubt people are gawking at her out of admiration because she looks more like an extra from the Handmaid’s Tale than an extra on Gossip Girl.
The tweet has gotten under my skin because there is truth in it.
Society does still define women by what they wear.
It shouldn’t matter if a woman dresses modestly or flamboyantly.
It shouldn’t be praised or celebrated – it should be just a neutral thing.
I’ve never heard anyone applaud a man for wearing board shorts that hang below the knee.
Plenty of people replied to this tweet and disagreed with it, but there were also people that replied in agreement.
Someone commented: “All the women I have been the most attracted to have dressed modestly. Especially my wife.”
Ew.
Another added: “Beautiful, classy, in good shape, modest, no tattoos, and well dressed. That’s how all women should look like.”
No.
The comments in favour of this tweet were in the minority but the 150k likes has still thrown me.
Every day when I get dressed, I think about what I wear and what message that will send people; by people, I mean men.
Why? Well, because when I was growing up, my mum told me not to wear certain things because people would judge me.
She said that because her mother told her that, and I’m pretty confident my great-grandmother said the same thing to my grandma.
I suppose because they were worried someone would decide if I was classy or not based on if I was wearing a crop top or a smock dress.
The response to this tweet basically confirms their fears were old fashion yes, but still legit.
I grew up thinking wearing a short skirt, or going braless or showing cleavage means I’m asking for attention, people won’t take me seriously, or men will take it as an invitation or make assumptions about me.
It has taken me years to unpack this and realise that underwire shouldn’t be the reason someone respects me or thinks I’m hot.
So when I saw the viral tweet, it confirmed that plenty of men are still praising women for dressing modestly and the naked truth is women should be judged on who they are not by what they wear.