Football. I could take it or leave it if I’m being honest.
But watching men watching football? Well, that’s a whole other story.
With that (thirst trap) in mind, myself, along with 2DAY FM’s Dave Hughes, Erin Molan, and some sexy female listeners made our way to the Sydney Swans match against Carlton game at the SCG.
We were on a hunt to find out where all the single men were hiding because lord knows the dating apps are seeming a little lifeless these days.
So we got creative.
We made it our mission to put on our sexiest outfits (that seem passable at a footy game) and took our dating needs to the street.
In this case, a stadium filled with glorious men.
Now, upon reflection we may have got a little carried away and made a few errors as it proved to be a slight disaster.
But thankfully I’ve discovered where we went wrong.
You see, we were very generously gifted a box at the football by 2DAY FM, and I’ll be honest with you, I’ll watch anything from a box.
Game of chess? Sure. Cockroach race? No worries. Just make sure the box is stocked with champagne, fancy party pies and cupcakes and let the games begin.
Within minutes of arriving, seven squealing women were filling their wine glasses and squawking with delight as the game kicked off. (Is that what you call it? Kicked off? Who knows.)
Despite all the action on the field, we sat in a tight huddle gossiping about previous dating disasters and taking selfies under the very flattering stadium lighting.
Before we new it the final whistle called, and the night was over. Did we meet any men? Nope. But a glorious night was had by all.
So obviously you can see where we went wrong: We went to the footy but hid ourselves away from the crowd in a fancy box.
Wrong.
Having had more success as previous games, I can tell you without a doubt the perfect way to pick up blokes at a big sporting event.
It all takes place before the game. What you want to do is find out what pub everyone meets at before kick-off.
This is where the men are. They’re in jolly good moods because they’re about to watch their hero’s kick balls and run and tackle. Yes, tackle. Swoon.
So, you want to be in their eyeline. Now here’s an important detail you don’t want to miss, you want to look out for the ones not wearing wedding rings.
Yes, that goes without saying, but seriously you’ve only got a limited amount of time to work with before the game, so you want to zone in on the single ones.
You also you want to get there early enough to nab a table and suggest to the closest group of hotties that they join your table.
Voila, you’ve got yourself a flirt-fest!
Don’t expect any form of flirting at the game however, as one thing I’ve learnt is that men will use all their focus to scream, or cheer, or rant on about what their team is doing wrong. Snore.
You’re second chance to get your flirt on is at the post-game drinks.
Follow the crowd as they make their way to the closest pub and settle in for a night of good banter. It’ like your very own Tinder-in-the-wild.
The men will be full of testosterone following an action-packed game of footy and the slightly tribal aspect of it all is very alluring.
I went recently with a girlfriend, and we were in heaven.
And here’s a slightly controversial tip if you want to stand out from the crowd, offer to buy the man you’re flirting with a drink.
Yep, don’t wait for him to offer. If you’re feeling the vibe and want to keep chatting, make the first move, and shock him.
It shows confidence, assertion-without-arrogance, and is simply a nice thing to do.
I mean, we’ve been making the first move on bumble for years, so why not in real life.
Therefore, my fellow lady-friends, if you’re sick of sitting at home sooking about being single I think it’s time to get a little creative.
Like the saying goes; “If the mountain won’t go to Mohammad, then Mohammad must come to the mountain.”
Yes, we are Mohammad in this situation and blokes are the mountain.
Alright Jana, stop trying to be Gandhi.
What I’m really trying to say is, with a bit of audacity and bravado anyone can meet their future-partner in real life.
And it may very well be at the footy. Go Swannies! Or whoever. I don’t care.